Parenting 101 – Skit 3

Posted by on Dec 21, 2003 in Parenting

Dr. Philip Ney

Mabel:       Jake, I see you’re at it again. I can’t believe you. You said you were going to quit.

Jake:          Aw Mabel, it’s my first one today.

Mabel:       Yeah, right. And it is all of 9 o’clock.

Jake:          Mabel, why do you keep bugging me? It’s enough to drive a man to drink.

Mabel:       Jake, you were a drunken sot before I married you.

Jake:          Then why did you marry me?

Mabel:       Because you promised that you would give it up if I agreed to marry you.

Jake:          And you believed me then, why don’t you believe me now?

Mabel:       Because now I can see you can’t change. (Kicking a sack of empties under the                   table) So when did you drink all of those.

Jake:          Aw Mabel, I didn’t start until about 10:00 last night.

Mabel:       Jake, that’s it! We’re through! Go start packing your gear. I am kicking you out.

Jake:          I got ya Mabel! This one’s empty and all those empties underneath there we are                   collecting for Kiwanis.

Mabel:       I don’t believe you Jake. I never could trust you.

Jake:          You don’t trust me. You don’t believe me. You nag me. That’s why I drink.

Mabel:       No Jake, I nag you because you drink.

Jake:          No Mabel, I drink because you nag me.

(Goes back and forth half a dozen times)

Jane:          Please! Stop fighting you two.

Mabel and Jake: Jane, you keep out of this. It is none of your business.

Jane:          This is my business. You make my life horrible.

Mabel:       Go and do your homework.

Jake:          Have you finished your chores?

Jane:          I get it. As long as you’ve got reason to be mad at me, you don’t have to fight with                   each other. Every family needs a scapegoat. That’s why you invited me. Well, I can                   tell you one thing. I will never marry a drunk.

Johnny:      And I can tell you one thing. I will never marry a nag.